It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
