Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
