I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
