so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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