Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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