I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize