there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
