She announced her abortion via fbk
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
