is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
