I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
