So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
Terrible brother advice.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
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oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.