I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
