i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers