Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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