ADVERTISEMENT

• (760): View more from California

  No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.

  Fav 6 2605 1072

  share tweet
  

• (779): View more from Illinois

  Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.

  Fav 6 3181 1070

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.

  Fav 13 2058 3320

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'

  (253): View more from Washington

  no more ever clear

  Fav 33 7770 1410

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  The beers last night were like the tears from god

  Fav 5 2144 890

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap

  Fav 7 2773 989

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.

  Fav 11 3543 1146

  share tweet
  

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.

  Fav 14 1307 1007

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.

  Fav 2 665 1065

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

  Fav 3 1068 577

  share tweet
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.

  Fav 4 1270 908

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.

  Fav 1 658 478

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.

  Fav 2 476 611

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?

  Fav 1 839 472

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (707): View more from California

  Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.

  Fav 1 28 5

  share tweet
  

Randomize