New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
