Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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