absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
