My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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