I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
