I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
