i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
