just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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