Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
