I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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