I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize