erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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