Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
