We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
