I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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