Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize