if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My vagina just recognized that song.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
