i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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