That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
