Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
