He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize