quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
