My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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