I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
