is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
