We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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