My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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