I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize