I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
