Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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