Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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