your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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