That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
