A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
