but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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