420 ftw
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
