Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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