my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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