just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
