Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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