There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist