You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
