Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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