oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think my vagina is haunted
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
