Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Jerry, you need to find god
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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