Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
