OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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