but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wear drunk well.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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