Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
