my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
