Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize