There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
