I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
