I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
